Walter sighed as he walked towards Saul. "Ok, fine. I'll suck your dick for the fries. Deal?" "WALT!" Both Walter and Saul turned to see Hank. "Walt, you're the smartest person I know, but you're too stupid to see that Saul precumed 10 minutes ago." Walter rolled his eyes. "It's not gay for friends to suck eachother's dicks, you know. That's so homophobic of you. It's just friends having a taste of eachother." Saul giggled. "He made his mind up 10 minutes ago, Hank. He doesn't want you, he wants me. Come on, Walty, let's engage in extreme buttsex." They both h*ld h*nds and walked away to what was assumed to be Saul's bedroom as Hank curled up and cried. "This is so sad.....I guess I'll have to go back to that bitch who thinks they're rocks."
"Marie why the fuck do I have to wear this." Hank cringed at the wrinkly shit-covered maid dress from Aliexpress presented in front of him. "Hank, have you even been on Twitter at all recently? It's called being a 'malewife', which is really funny and not annoying at all when repeated 10 times. You know how hard it is to steal something from a child in a sweatshop? After all you know I'm incapable of purchasing something legally, cause I'm neurodivergent and menopausal. Now get to cleaning Hanky." She spanked his ass as she walked to go have an orgy for the 6th time that week. It was Sunday. Hank sighed as he put on the dress. "I should've just accepted the rocks...I should've just engaged in the incest..." Hank weeped until he felt something wet slide onto his foot. "What the fuck is it now marie." He looked down and gasped as he saw part of Jesse's former cocoon. "Jesse...?" Suddenly the cocoon morphed into...Jesse. "Yo mista Schrader" Hank sobbed as he hugged Jesse. "Jesse...it's ok...daddy's still here..." He kissed him on the forehead. Jesse moved back, revealing his massive stuffed animal he won from the fair. "Yo Daddy Hank dis is for you yo i do drugs so i speak like a milleneral yo" "jesse...this is...yes...this is the key to defeating Saul! Jesse, you genius!" Hank violently shook him, scattering his brains since he just formed from his cocoon but Hank doesn't knwo the anatomy of a ̛̤͍̪̠̫͙̱͙͐̎�̙̦̜̮͕̰ͫ͑̐͠�͌̏̾ͯ͏̭̦͈̦̦͇̲�̙́͒́ͅ�ͧ̆̆͐͏̮͍̳̫̻̩�̸̟̫̩̰̝̗͍͒�̠̙͚͗͑ͯ́̚�͐͏̘̬�̵̯̹̺͖̲̖ͧͣ͐�̴͙̥̰͍͉̰͈̖̑̋�̣̭͓͖̼̐͋͋͜ͅ�̛̜̹̻̀̈͂͐�̙̟͓̠ͮ̀�̶̯̪̲̠͍ͧͣ�̬̠̖̭͙̘̾͌́ͩ̕�͉̟̱͕ͣ�̯͉̯̜̪̟̲ͧ͝.
Hank then took Jesse's hand in his, smiling. "Come, son, we're gonna go pay Daddy Walt a visit."
"Walt, I said no teeth." Saul looked up as he heard banging on his door. Walter pulled off the mauled ▇▇▇ , looking up at him. There was blood all over his mouth and the ▇▇▇ as he looked up at him. "Well sorry, Saul, it's not my fault that your ▇▇▇ looks like a ▇▇. The banging continued. (Literally and figurtively) "Goddamnit who the fuck is it?" Saul stomped over to the door and opened it, enraged at the sight. "Well well well, if it isn't bald fuck and Jesse Pinkman in a vegetative state." "What" "What the fuck do you dipshits want" Jesse's tendrils quickly shot out, binding around Saul's wrists and ankles. Saul screamed as his flesh began to melt under the binds. Hank smiled and nodded as he pat Jesse on the back, watching the arousing sight unfold. "JESSE WHAT THE FUCKKC STOP STOPPSO IT WHAT DO YOU WANT AGGSRSTGAGAGARGGLGLLGLLGLGLLGLLGL" Saul's flesh began to melt in on itself and drip on the floor as more of Jesse's tendrils constricted itselves around him, digging into what remained of Saul Goodman's melting body. Eventually it melted through his bone, all of Saul finally collecting into a glob of melted cheese on the floor. Jesse happily crouched down and began shoving pieces of it into his mouth, harvesting his meal. Hank looked up. Now all that was left was Walter. He was originally going to use the stuffed animal from the fair to beat Saul now that he remembered, but it seems he'll have to use it on him.
"Walt where the fuck are you" "Here." Hank looked in horror at the sight. It was Saul's decapitated [REDACTED] in his mouth along with blood everywhere. "Holy shit Walt what the fuck happened oh my god" "It was for the fries." Hank felt tears slide down his face as he realizes what their relationship became. Even though it was still pseudo-incest...he couldn't help but reminisce about how good Walt's [REDACTED] felt inside his [REDACTED]. It was so gay. Hank lifted up the carnival toy as Walter narrowed his eyes. "Hank what kind of sex toy is this?" Hank gasped as his plan was foiled; Jesse strategically went to a BDSM fair and won the rope bunny toy and a sounding kit too but we won't talk about that. Hank charged at Walter as Jesse kept shoving cheese in his gullet. It was no surprise how much Jesse could fit in his mouth; he is the throat goat after all.
"HANK WHAT THE FUCK I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU I HATED GAY POEPLE" Walter looked in horror as Hank began to unravel the ropes from the toy. "Today...I'm the top Walt..." Hank dipped down to whisper in his ear. "And I told you last chapter they were minerals, Walt." Hank bound Walt effortlessly as he screamed in pain. "HANK STOP MY ARTHRITIS IS KCIKNG IN" Walter began crying until Hank pressed a finger to his chapped lips. "Walt..." He said before looking at him with tears in his eyes. "Kiss me you fool."
In an instant they were upon eachother, making out in a homosexual manner. The kiss was full of love and lust as Hank began stripping (he was already naked but in this universe stripping is defined as ripping the outermost epidermis layer off the flesh.) Jesse stopped eating the cheese to look up in disgust. "Yo what the fuck are you guys gay" Walter, without changing his position, pulled out a glock and shot Jesse. It had no effect and it only enraged him as his tendrils once again shot out and grabbed the two homosexuals, hovering it above Jesse's toilet of a mouth. "Yo mista white do you know what vore is" "JESSE WHAT THE FUCK" "Wikipedia.com -vore, a Latin suffix related to eating. Vorarephilia, a typically erotic desire or sexual fantasy to be consumed or to consume another.The slang term “vore” means a rare sexual fetish where someone experiences sexual arousal from imagining swallowing or devouring someone whole or from being swal" "JESSE STOP" He once again attempted to shoot Jesse, but he aimed just right, turning him back into his vegetative state. Jesse immediately dropped down and began to devour what was left of the Saul cheese.
Walter and Hank began to coo at the sight because it was just so adorable. Walter and Hank's hands slithered towards one another, embracing it tightly. Now this was family bonding. They then looked at eachtoher with love in their eyes until Hank came close to Walter's ear. "Did I leave the oven on?" "Do you now know what vore is?" To that response, Hank pulled walter to him, passionately making out as their son paused the eating of the Saul Cheese to look up in horror. They didn't care. They continued and it eventually escalated to gay butt sex as Jesse screamed and cried and begged for them to stop. It didn't work. Eventually Jesse succumbed to the pain of watching gay men sexual intercourse and overdosing on rennet. Eventually they paused their homosexual actions to look at Jesse. They stared at what was left of the Saul Cheese. Hank went up tot he cheese and took a clump, shoving it in his mouth. "Bad news Walt, I think necrosis has set in." Then, they had an idea. "Hank," Walter said, turning to him. "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" Hank nodded. "Yes, Walt. I know what we have to do."
"Yes, Mark Cuban, Edible fleshlights." Hank and Walter had just got a 2 morbillion dollar evaluation on their new startup, cheese pussies. But it seems like the public will never know who invented the famous 'Nectrotic Saul Cheese' fleshlights. "A revolutionary invention by two gay men who utilized the cheese of another gay man part of their orgy huddle to create the most famed sex toy to date. Back to you, Ellen Degenerate." She's a guest star by the way so you're not confused shut the fuck up
Hank and Walt were sitting on their shit-covered couch, naked. It was a pleasant binge of shows until Walter sat up, hauling the TV out their window in anger. "WALT!!!! What the fuck!!! That cost me some good coin!" "HANK, DID YOU HEAR THAT???? TWO GAY MEN??? THEY DIDNT EVEN SAY OUR NAMES!!!! THERES LIKE 2 TRILLION GAY MEN ON EARTH!! WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!!!!" "Walty, please calm dow-" Hank was met with a sharp slap to the face, crying as he fell to the floor. Walter ran out the door, looking for small children to take his anger out on. Suddenly, Hector Salamanca came in after hearing Hank's bellows. "dingdingding" "Oh my god, you're right Don Hector! Gay anal sex is the key to credit on Shark Tank!" Hector shit on the floor. In response to this, the Saul cheese fleshlights became one with Jesse's corpse, creating the entity only known as "Jessaul Dingle". Hector looked in horror as it began to speak to him. "Come on, Hector. Let's have gay men sexual intercourse." "DINGDINGDINGDINGDIN" In response to Hector's cries for help, Tuco broke down the door. He pointed a gun straight at the being. "NO KIN OF DINGLE IS A FUCKBUDDY OF THE SALAMANCAS" he screamed as he fired shots. The entity then shot forward with a grotesque mix of the Saul Cheese and Jesse's tendrils, grabbing hold of Tuco as he kept firing. "NO PLEASE STOP DONT FUCK MY UNCLE PLEASE" "It's not your uncle I'll be fucking, Tuco." "WHAT TJE FUKC" He screamed as his flesh began to melt into a glob of boiled milk, spilling down to the floor to form more cheese. Hector's bell kept ringing. Tuco kept screaming as his legs were turned into globby milk to the bone until the door was kicked down AGAIN to reveal Gus Fring. Everyone instantly scrunched their nose at his appearance.
"JESSAUL DINGLE, STOP THIS MADNESS!" He screamed as the entity let go of Tuco's milk covered leg. "Shut the fuck up Gus" It said in response. To this, Gus pulled out his birth certificate, causing Jessaul to gasp. The only text on the baby-blue slip of paper was written in sharpie with the name 'Quandale Dingle'. "No......NO....." The entity screamed in pain as it tried to stay together but the bodies of Jesse and Saul were splitting apart. It gurgled as Gus, now Quandale Dingle, recited an ancient hymn known to tear apart the ancient beast that predated Jessaul Dingle. "By the power of Quandale Dingle," Gus screamed. "I command you to restore all cheeses to their original forms." With a final screech, Jessaul Dingle split, Saul's body whizzing right towards Tuco's milk-covered body killing both instantly while Jesse was just there. "Yo Gus why is there milk everywhere" "gus the milk is congealed yo" "Don't worry," Gus said, petting Jesse. "I have milk insurance." They both turned their heads as they heard a groan, looking back to see Saul covered in bits of necrotic Saul cheese and Tuco milk. "What the fuck was that?" Saul bounded towards Gus. "YOU are Quandale Dingle??! Why didn't you just say that?? That would've put the plotline to an end a chapter ago." Gus smiled and patted Saul's shoulder while still petting Jesse. "Yo gus fucking stop" "Saul, don't you see? There is a lesson to be learned here." "Gus what the fuck am I supposed to learn from this" Gus chuckled as he withdrew his 3 hands. "Come on guys, lets get to Los Pollos Hermanos."
Hank looked in awe as they left. He was holding his video camera in his hand, quickly withdrawing the compact flash inside of it. Yes, he had all the evidence he needed...for years, he has been trying to prove the existence of both Quandale and Jessaul Dingle and their rivalry, but all his research brought up false leads. Now, he had video evidence of the beings only known as Jessaul and Quandale..."Yes...this shall do nicely. I must find Skyler at once..." I'm only bringing her up because I want an excuse to write her again despite her no longer having plot relevancy. He cackled as he rolled out of the house.
"Gus." "Yes Saul." "I thought you said Los Pollos Hermanos." "I did. Is anything the issue?" "This is a fucking gay bar" "Oh yes, my bad. Let me take you to the back." Gus giggled as he walked through the crowd of sweaty men, leading them to the back part. It had a sign similar to the original Los Pollos Hermanos except the Pollos was replaced with Pullups. "Here we are, gentlemen. The new Los Pullups Hermanos." It was literally a gym also full of sweaty men. Jesse whimpered as he began to sob. "But Gus I'm not gay yo" "I have relocated the Los Pollos Hermanos establishment to the back portion of XXX Homo Bear Gay Bar and Chicken Shack. This part was unused at first, it was supposed to be the chicken shack part, but since I found it on Wish and it was a steal I decided to permanently move the restaurant to the area." "But Gus, it was a chicken restaurant and this was supposed to be the chicken shack part. Why the fuck would you pass up the opportunity to add a chicken shack." "Because gay men like to lift. Besides, they recommended the name Gus' Cock Stop for the restaurant. That was enough for me to convert." Jesse and Saul looked at eachother, wondering if Gus is alluding to his sexuality or the shop but it worked either way.
They walked in the gym, both Jesse and Saul crinkling their noses at the smell while Gus took a deep whiff. "You boys have fun teeheehee" Gus giggled as he pranced over to a group of men, leaving the other two who were sweating profusely. "Yo saul i dont feel too good about this AUUGHHXHSGCSCNCHHCJJGLLGLLGLGLLG" Jesse was cut off as a pair of ventricles from a group of sweaty men grabbed him, leading him towards a group of even more sweaty men. "AUGAHHHSHSH HELP ME SAUL HEP" His voice was silenced as he was finally tugged in the circle, no longer able to be seen. "Oh god oh fuck Jesse please no what the fuck" Saul started panicking and tried to go in the direction of the sweaty men when he felt a rough hand on his shoulder. He turned around to see none other than Mark Cuban naked. "Hello Mister Saul Goodman. I do hope this doesn't come as a surprise to you. I'm with Gustavo Fring who you may know as Quandale Dingle in the Los Pullups Hermanos operation here at XXX Homo Bear Gay Bar and Chicken Shack. C'mere Saul, come with me." Mark gently fluttered his pointer finger, walking back to lift a random curtain in the wall. Saul starting crying while shaking, going to his knees and pleading. Mark took advantage of this position and quickly ran full tilt to him, with his...yeah.
Hank quickly made his way to 308 Negra Arroyo Lane, Albuquerque, New Mexico, ripping the front door off it's hinges. "SKYLER" Hank craned his head in different directions in desperate hope of finding her. "SKYLER WHERE ARE YOU" Hank froze after hearing a squelching sound. "Oh, my bad, Skyler." Stupid Hank forgot this month was metamorphisis season for women. He began to back away in shame until Skyler slithered behind him. "hakn" "Skyler oh my god what the fuck" "hank" "Skyler I need to know where Walt is!!! He's in trouble!" "fuck walt" Hank slapped her, with her slumping to the floor. "DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT MY HUSBAND FUCKFACE" He screamed as he stomped her, waiting until no more noise left her. Hank had an idea. Hank could use Skyler's dead body and find a way to blackmail Walt. Hank chuckled and rubbed his hands together as he grabbed her half-born body. He ran outside, knowing where he had to go.
Hank snuck around the hedges as he looked at the playground. He looked in horror as he spotted Walter spinning kid's jaws and beating them within an inch of their life, blood pooling on the ground as waves of kids swarmed and charged him, Walter effortlessly taking them out. "EAT SHIT" He screamed as he ripped a kid in half, swinging it's intestines and rallying up crowds of kids within the binding, proceeding to toss the organ into a river where the kids screamed as it took them with the stream. He then proceeded to shift into a Beyblade and spin around at an inhuman speed of 574 mph, instantly shredding any children that dared to near his vicinity. He collected the shredded flesh of the kids, shoving it in even more children's mouths until they cried and screamed and eventually quieted down, succumbing to the painful death. The kids were no more.
Hank gasped as Walter quickly turned around, eyes widening at the sight of Hank who tightly clutched Skyler's corpse.